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You Asked, We Answered: Best of Tech Dating 101

GeekSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:05:46 -0700

The holidays are approaching, and you know what that means: time to switch into friends and family overdrive! Although you may be spending more time than usual with Aunt Laura, that doesn't mean you have to let your budding relationship with Mr. Fabulous go by the wayside - there's always technology to keep you two in touch. Check out some of my favorite tips to help you navigate the rocky waters between tech and dating.

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Tech Dating 101: Help! He's E-Stalking Me

GeekSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:45:53 -0700

Electronic communication can both help and hurt a relationship. On one hand, it encourages constant communication and may make you feel closer to one another. On the other - this constant communication may make you feel suffocated.

This happened recently to one of my friends. She started seeing a new guy, and intentionally only gave him her phone number - no email address, no Twitter handle, no AIM screen name. She wasn't trying to hide anything, she was just trying make sure things progressed slowly. After a few weeks and a very brief exchange over Gmail - bam! - there he was in her list of Gchat contacts. She didn't think about it until the next day at work when, with the familiar "ding" that accompanies a new message, a "hi!" from her guy.

"I am not ready to Gchat!" she complained to me (via, of course, Gchat). I told her to ignore the Gchat window long enough that her name would display as idle, and then to either log out or turn on the "invisible" option - a quick fix for the moment, but by no means a permanent solution.

She's not the only friend of mine this has happened to. After including her instant messenger name (that she uses for work) on her Facebook profile, one friend was attacked with a flurry of instant messages from someone she was casually dating. So, how do you prevent a new date from e-stalking? That's what I'll cover on this edition of Tech Dating 101. To read the advice I gave to her, read more.

As silly as it may sound, I think it's better to set boundaries early, especially if one or both of you has a job that requires you to be available via phone, IM, email all day. So set rules, boundaries, whatever you have to do. Just because you're available to your boss and co-workers all day doesn't mean you have to make yourself available to everyone else in your life. If you prefer he doesn't chat you up via Gchat or AIM throughout the day, tell him that. Just explain your decision, and make it clear you're not hiding anything - you prefer to talk at certain hours of the day (like when you're off the clock), or you'd rather limit your communication to phone calls and text messages, with the occasional email. (If he's really not getting the message, you could always try adding this link to my advice on how not to virtually stalk someone as your status message, though I recommend that only as a last resort.)

Initially, my friend set her status to "invisible" so he couldn't find her online, which worked fine until she messaged him one afternoon and he responded with, "You're online?" She was totally busted - which is why I'd advise someone in a similar situation to address it, not ignore it.

Do you have a Love 2.0 questioned you want answered? Join the Tech Dating 101 because we understand that ove and dating are stressful and the Internet and social networking sites can just make things worse. You never know, your question could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

5 Fun Sites For Good, Bad and Ugly Date Tales

GeekSugar — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:24:36 -0700

Ask any playa and she'll tell you, dating ain't easy. And with so much new technology out there, the art of dating has become more complicated than ever - we can all feel Drew Barrymore's pain in He's Just Not That Into You when she laments about having to keep up with several different technologies just to get rejected.

The upside of this digital age of dating is that there are plenty of places for you to vent your terrible date tales or proclaim your love for the whole wide web to enjoy. Or, if you are taken, there's a bundle of sites that allow you to live vicariously through single folks. Check out some of our favorite sites for expressing our love. . . whether oh-so-bad or oh-so-good.

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Tech Dating 101: I Like Him, I Hate His Video-Game Obsession

GeekSugar — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:13:52 -0700

In our Tech Dating 101 series, we've already tackled issues surrounding the nude photos you found on his laptop, his female-dominated address book, and his annoying CrackBerry addiction. But what's a girl to do when he just can't get enough of his video games? OK, I know I'm probably not the best person to answer this, but I can give you a few pointers on how to deal.

There are a few variables to take into consideration here. Find out what they are when you read more.

Variables like how long you've been together, if he still makes you feel loved and appreciated, or if he just wants you to join him in a quick round of Mario Kart on a Saturday night. But if he's blowing you off to stay at home and play World of Warcraft 24/7, or is actually losing sleep or missing work because of his gaming habits, then he may be a video-game addict who needs some professional help. Overall, if he's just a casual gamer, you may just have to give in and befriend the Xbox controller after all.

Do you have a Love 2.0 questioned you want answered? Join the Tech Dating 101 because we understand that love and dating are stressful, and the Internet and social networking sites can just make things worse. You never know, your question could be featured on GeekSugar! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.

Tech Dating 101: Is It OK to Just Give Him My Twitter Name?

GeekSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:40:08 -0700

Have you heard a story like this? A good friend of mine met a great guy in a crowded bar, and barely had the chance to talk to him before the people she came with wanted to leave. As they parted ways and he hurriedly asked her, "Can I call you sometime?" she (now famously) shouted across the bar, "Direct message me on Twitter!"

While I'm happy to report that after several direct messages and dates, they're still together, her situation raises an interesting point: when you meet someone new, is it OK to give them only your Twitter name instead of phone number? Or, for that matter, is it OK to give them only your email address, Facebook name, or anything besides your phone number? While some might find it impersonal, what if that's your preferred method of communication? That's what I'll tackle in this week's edition of Tech Dating 101. To find out what I suggest doing, read more.

One of the benefits of online profiles and networking sites is that you can control how you're perceived by others. If Twitter (or Facebook, or even email) is your preferred method of communication, it's fine to give that info before your number. Plus, there's always the chance that he's going to find you on Facebook anyhow, so offering up your Twitter username or inviting him to find you on Facebook is a good way to take control of the situation! Just be sure and keep a healthy mix of communication; otherwise you may find he acts differently online than in person.

One note of caution, ask yourself why you're hesitant to give out your number. If the answer is "I'm not a phone person" that's fine, but do you really want a Twitter or Facebook message instead if you don't want a call. Asking him to find or contact you online is fine, but make sure it's not because you're hiding behind your profile.

Tech Dating 101: To Upload, Tag, Untag, or Delete?

GeekSugar — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:05:16 -0700

Posting photos and videos online is more popular than ever thanks to mobile upload technologies to sites like Facebook and Flickr. And along with uploading comes tagging, keywords, titles and captions. I use tags and keywords on photos, so I can find them easily, but it's also a pretty public way of showing the world, "Hey! I'm with him!" When is it appropriate to tag a date? What do you do if he untags himself? And, scariest of all, what do you do if the relationship ends? That's what we'll find out on this edition of Tech Dating 101.

Tagging and Identifying Photos:
If you've been hanging out fairly often, it's fine to tag a few Facebook photos from the day trip you took last weekend - after all, you have to actually be Facebook friends for the tag to work. Just don't overdo it.

A few choice photos are fine - every single photo (including those featuring his left foot in the corner of the frame, you know which one I'm talking about) is overkill. The same goes for Flickr - adding titles, keywords, or captions with his name is fine if used sparingly. And, of course, keep the mushy stuff to a minimum, please.

To see my other tagging suggestions just read more.

If He Untags Himself on Facebook:
Do not panic. He may think it's an unflattering photo (yes, guys can be vain), or maybe he's just not a tagging fan. I know plenty of girls who are antitag, too. If it really bothers you, you can ask him why, but avoid accusation - especially if it's a new relationship. You can always try again in a few weeks.

If It Ends:
I've touched on this a bit in Getting Your Ex Out of Your Digital Life, but post-breakup, it's best to edge him out. Start by de-tagging cute or coupley photos of the two of you. Don't feel the need to remove them from your page unless you have no desire to look at them - if so, by all means, delete! Tags and keywords are an easy way to organize photos, but if you use Flickr, that means they're searchable. Tag those photos with his first and last name and . . . bam! You never know when you'll realize someone (is it him? A new girl?) has been checking out photos of the two of you.

Do You Think Teens Sext More Than Adults?

GeekSugar — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 03:50:58 -0700

On this week's "To Sext or Not to Sext" episode of 90210 Naomi considers acting out her residual prom night frustration on Annie by blasting out an explicit MMS message of Annie as payback. (To be fair, Naomi thinks Annie slept with her boo). It's a dramatic and entertaining plotline, but further reinforced the overwhelming stats and tales of teens sexting at schools.

More than 61 percent of GeekSugar readers have admitted to sexting in the past, which leads me to believe grown-ups are doing it too. Do you think teens sext more, or do you think we just hear about it from the media because of their age?

Photo courtesy of The CW

Tech Dating 101: He Quotes My Tweets, What Does That Mean?

GeekSugar — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:06:56 -0700

A gal pal recently divulged that she had a dinner date with a single male friend and when conversation turned to Twitter and the Internet, he proved to be a studied student in her tweets. In fact, he quoted a few of them verbatim. He presented the homage to her updates in a humorous way, ("so why didn't you tweet that?" "I think your exact Tweet was. . .") so she wasn't overwhelmed, but wondered what that could mean and what she should do. It wasn't an explicitly romantic date, but there were flirtatious undertones and his extensive knowledge of her updates make her wonder.

I've tackled a similar conundrum in my Tech Dating 101 series when we discussed people using Facebook to get to know one another. To see what my advice for this similar Twitter situation, just read more.

He's probably into you: He may not want to have babies and run off into the sunset, but Twitter is updated every millisecond and it is hard to keep up even when using a Twitter management system. It sounds like he is paying close attention to your activity because he wants to get to know you better, cares what you think, and likes you whether as a friend or girlfriend.
Are you into him? If so, Tweet back: If he is reading your updates close enough to quote them he is asking to be interacted with and trying to show you he's interested. If you want to explore where this real/tweetlationship might head, retweet his witty updates or reply back to him. Both will flatter him. If things get really flirty, take it to your direct message inbox. You don't want anyone else to be able to quote your interactions.
Just not that into him? Take heed!: If you decide you don't want to get too friendly with him, pay attention to your interactions and updates. Don't engage with him daily - that could be perceived as misleading. If he gets annoying and continues to parrot your tweets when you see him in person, block him or send him off-guard with tweets about your dates or crush.

It's a cruel Internet world out there, and it can be hard to decode people's intentions. Check out my Tech Dating 101 series, where I help disperse a double whammy of tech and relationship advice, for a little support.

Do You and Your Honey Rock the Same Tech?

GeekSugar — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:44:09 -0700

There's a line in the new Jay-Z song "Venus Vs. Mars" that says "Hove's a BlackBerry Bold, shorty is a Sidekick . . ." which got me thinking about couples that differ when it comes to tech love. There's no geek law that says you have to rock the same devices as your partner, but I've noticed most of my friends and their significant others share a common tech alliance (maybe it has something to do with the good old carrier family plan). Do you and your sweetie use the same type of computer or phone?

How-to: Find Someone Online

GeekSugar — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 05:47:58 -0700

The debate whether or not to Google potential lovers is a tricky one, but the truth is, there's no harm in it. Finding friends, acquaintances, or even strangers online is a simple and discreet way to learn a little bit - or a whole lot! - about them. You can brush up on their online reputation and verify their stories (hey, hiring managers do it, why can't you?) or simply see what they are into. There are plenty of people who keep their social network accounts private, but you can always find something. Looking for more information on your sister's new boyfriend, a blind date or co-worker? Here are some surefire tips to strike Google gold.

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