Internet

"Caroline," a mom from St. Petersburg, FL, wasn't keen on her 11-year-old getting on Facebook, so she was furious when she discovered her daughter corresponding with a 23-year-old man through the social network. She wrote back to the older "friend" as though she were her daughter, and when his requests became explicit, she used her wits — and a Target mailer — to put him behind bars.

Watch the USA Today video below to find out how her one-woman sting operation got this predator off the streets.

How far would you go to protect your kids from online dangers?

A Harlingen, Texas mom recently went under cover to capture an online predator. After noticing a Facebook friend request to her 12-year-old daughter from someone named "Freddie Love," the mom, whose identity has not been released, messaged him back as her daughter. The reply? As the woman explained to Action 4 News, "He was being very explicit about what he wanted done. He wanted (oral sex) and told me what position."

Watch the video below to find out who "Freddie Love" turned out to be — which might be the scariest part of all — and how this daring mom assisted the police in his capture.

Read the whole story (ValleyCentral.com)>>

Image Source: ValleyCentral.com

There have been a rash of headlines in the last year about parents who've disciplined wayward teens through public shamings. But as a recent incident shows, public shaming can backfire, bringing the weight of public opinion down hard on the parent instead of the child.

In the case in question, a father uploaded a photo of his toddler to Reddit in which she's holding a sign "confessing" the crime of pooping in the shower, and giving her dad permission to use the humiliating image in her high school yearbook. The photo went viral, and horrified viewers were swift to criticize the father for humiliating such a young child in such a public way. The father claims that the image was simply meant to make people laugh.

Read the whole story (Daily Mail)>>

What limits do you put on what you'll share about your kids online?

Image Source: Reddit via Daily Mail

With the ever growing popularity of social networks and communities like those of Circle of Moms, many moms are making virtual friends with people they never would have met in real life — referred to online as "IRL."

Some moms even say they have more online friends then IRL friends. And many find that their online relationships become essential, such as Circle of Moms member Cathy S., who reports, “My Internet friendships are as real to me as my real life ones.”

But can virtual friends play the same role in our lives as “real” friends? It depends on who you ask.

How Do You Know on Online Friendship is Real?

Here are my own stats: I have 329 Facebook friends; 64 “Likes” on one of my professional Facebook pages, and 974 followers on Twitter. That doesn’t even touch on other forums I belong to, or social media sites like Google+ and Pinterest.

This is my reality, virtual or not. Most of my work and social networking is done online, so a lot of my professional interactions are online as well. Are these people my actual friends? I'm with Circle of Moms member Krista E., who believes that physical proximity isn't always mandatory for friendship. That said, I do think a real friend is someone whose presence and personality you can confirm, so I don't consider all of the people I'm "connected" to online as real friends. I disagree with a Circle of Moms member named Teresa, who gives every online interaction the benefit of the doubt. As she explains it, “there certainly are some fake profiles, fake stories, and many exaggerations, but I always respond [with] the idea that it's real. If it's fake... who have I harmed?”

Unfortunately, people can be harmed by fake friends. Take for example, all the people who have been fooled and wronged by Internet hoaxes like the recent Warrior Eli cancer hoax or the many kids who have been bullied online.

What Online Friends Offer That IRL Ones Can't

Despite this, I answer member Katherine C.’s question “Do some of your best friends live in your computer?” with a resounding “Yes!” A lot of my virtual friends are colleagues. We share the same interests and a respect and understanding for each other’s work.

Over the years, in various groups, forums, and email exchanges, these people and I have also learned about one another’s families, illnesses, financial worries, and other real-life concerns. We’ve formed an online network of support. No one cares whether I’m in my pajamas while I write (I’m not at the moment) or whether I’m twenty-two or sixty-two (I’m in between).

As Circle of Moms member Tam B. explains, “Coming to a place like this is the virtual equivalent [of] going to a social gathering, albeit without the hassle of having to make oneself presentable.”

Perhaps virtual friends are more supportive because they’re not distracted by the mundane things mom Katie H. mentions — such as whether your house is clean, or when the babysitter needs to go home.

Or maybe, as Kylie H. points out, the lack of face-to-face contact allows people to “be funny and confident. . . when in reality they are shy and quiet and would never say those things to your face.”

There was a time when I tried to pare down my innermost thoughts to 140 characters, or when, if I said something funny, I thought to myself, “That so has to be my Facebook status!” But I’ve gotten past that novelty. I have IRL friends I can tell my jokes to.

On the whole, though, it’s my online friends who I turn to for emotional support. Statistically, with such a large pool of people from all over the globe, more of them have problems, joys, and concerns that are similar to mine.

Are virtual friends the same as IRL friends? Well, no, but that doesn’t mean the friendships aren’t real. To paraphrase mom Cathy S., you can create online friendships with like-minded people you might never have had the chance to meet in real life.

Image Source: Courtesy of Amanda Morin

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

I’m a huge Pinterest fan! Recently I wondered how I could share my visual passion with my daughter. She’s been very interested in my “pinning” and several of her friends have their own Boards. I’m not ready to let my 9-year-old navigate social media without me so I decided to find a safe way to use this new social media platform to create an appropriate activity with my daughter (and son).*

First, in case you aren’t familiar with Pinterest, here's their explanation:

"Pinterest is a Virtual Pinboard. Pinterest lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and organize their favorite recipes."

If you are considering starting parent-child pinning, here are my suggestions:

1. Set a specific time limit with your child - 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes (max!)
2. Mom (or Dad) controls the searches — this way you limit inappropriate photos from appearing and popping up.  After all, remember that Pinterest is for adults!
3. Direct your child to fun categories like places or travel or books — you will be surprised at the incredible conversations you’ll have based on “pin” discoveries.
4. Talk to your child and engage your child — don’t do mindless pinning but rather talk about crafts, projects, recipes. 

1. Use Pinterest to inspire and to give you ideas for non-screen, real-time time activities and projects. 
2. Quality time is the most important thing. After our family uses the computer it’s outside time or books or another activity. Choosing to do Pinterest means we don’t use other electronics.
3. Personally, I think 8 or 9 is the youngest age to do Pinterest with a parent but it’s your choice!
4. Because Pinterest is visual (and I’m a visual person), it’s a great way to show my daughter (and son) my personal tastes.
5. We check out any repins together. Again, everything is Mom-approved (or Dad).
6. More on parental controls:  Mom (or Dad) is in charge! Our kids are forbidden to log in without us. Keep your passwords safe.
7. The children’s board doesn’t share name or age or any other personal details
8. I approve all pins and all photo captions.

Our mom-child Pinterest time is wonderful — it’s relaxing, creative, and has a real D.I.Y feel to it (just like Pinterest). We look at only approved categories that are age appropriate including books, movies, food, flowers, pretty clothing, makeup, trucks, vacation spots and art. Most of all, we have fun.

Find me on Pinterest. Happy Pinning!

*Note that Pinterest's terms of service state: "Any use or access to the Service by anyone under the age of 13 is strictly prohibited."

Image Source: Photo Source

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Three years ago, right before my daughter turned 13, she launched a campaign to be allowed to have a Facebook account. All of her friends already had one, she informed us. We were, like, the only parents in the world who actually paid attention to the legal age for opening a Facebook account.

Aside from being dramatic hyperbole, that’s simply not true. (see also: What to Do When Your Pre-Teen Wants a Facebook Account) After taking it under advisement, we said, “Sure. You can have a Facebook account when you turn 13, but there will be rules and restrictions that come with it.”  

A year after the Facebook treatise, she petitioned to have the parental controls governing the hours she could use her cell phone lifted, so we negotiated. Then she wanted a web cam. “Sure,” we told her again. “But you’ll have to use it on the family computer in the dining room.”

In our house, electronics aren’t considered a right or a teenage rite of passage; use is monitored and restricted. This is an ongoing source of woe for our teenager. But it’s the right thing to do.

Having defined rules around the use of the Internet and having our family computer in a visible place in the house is, for us, a matter of common sense. Circle of Moms member Jazi A. agrees; in her house the computer is in the living room. 

These restrictions are born of safety concerns, not distrust. My husband and I know that people on the Internet aren’t always who they seem to be and that a teenager isn’t saavy enough to understand the threat that other people pose.

As the years pass, our teenager finds our rules increasingly ridiculous, but they’re actually pretty reasonable and similar to what many other moms on the Circle of Moms Communities do with their children. In terms of Facebook the rules are:

• We need to know her password. She needed to accept our friend requests and keep us as friends.
• I monitor her privacy settings on Facebook and update them as new pollicies are rolled out.
• She cannot “friend” adults without our permission.
• At the first sign of any type of cyber-bullying, we’d shut down her account.

Recently we’ve started enforcing a time limit for her online access, too.  Our router is now programmed to allow her laptop and iPod Touch online only during certain blocks of time during the day.

We realized that we should set limits for her brothers as well, though they need to be appropriate to their ages and situations. So now, screentime for our middle child, who has Asperger Syndrome, is directly tied into an “earned time” program, and our toddler watches a few mom-approved programs on PBS.

Our boys have numerous other interests, but between Facebook, text messaging and email, our teen daughter was developing a richer existence online than off.  This was concerning to us. We don’t want to force her to participate in activities she doesn’t enjoy, but we don’t want to give her a reason not to even join them. And the Internet was becoming a reason.

It’s pretty likely that none of our kids see the benefits of the rules and restrictions governing their use of electronics and the Internet. They don’t have to. I know the protection I am providing them, and that helps me sleep at night. Well, that, and knowing the Internet is inaccessible while I sleep.

Image Source: PictureYouth via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

It’s a mom’s job to know where her kids are and what they are up to. But is opening your child's e-mails, rifling through her room, or peeking into her journals an acceptable approach to staying on top of her activities? Circle of Moms member Loureen K. wants to know where the line is: “How much privacy should parents give their teens, and when is it appropriate to snoop?” she asks.

With so much of kids' lives unfolding online and through mobile phones, parents can feel clueless about what’s really going on. But parents also have access to new tools — not only web filters and tracking software like SocialShield, but GPS — that allow us to follow our kids' every move. Are we turning into bigger sneaks than we’d care to admit? Here, a breakdown of all the different places parents commonly snoop, from their kids' Internet browsers to their backpacks, plus Circle of Moms members' views on whether each type of parental spying is ever okay.

Cyber Sleuthing

Yes: It's a Safety Issue

If your gut tells you that your teen or tween is viewing banned sites or receiving inappropriate messages, a show of hands among Circle of Moms members says you should monitor their online activity. "My kids are my responsibility, and so is their behavior,” says Shawn L. “There is absolutely NO electronic privacy in our household. I guess I look at it this way: If my kids did something inappropriate, and I found out about it later, I'd be appalled. I'd be embarrassed, and most of all, I'd be extremely upset. I have all of their passwords, and regularly check their online activity, Facebook pages, etc."

Nikki S. agrees, adding, “As far as Internet use goes, I will check everything that they do on the computer for their own safety. I will be upfront about restrictions and conditions of Internet and phone usage. There won’t be any "snooping" because they will know it is going to happen.”

No: Kids Who are Trusted Become More Trustworthy

Other Circle of Moms members believe that tweens and teens need to know their parents trust them in order to make good decisions. They say that monitoring their Internet usage violates not only this trust, but also privacy: “I don't agree with parents invading their child's privacy at all, ever," says Emma. “That includes demanding access to their Facebook and MySpace [accounts], and [being] friends with them on Facebook. If they're allowed to use these things then they should have their privacy respected. Just because your kid doesn't want you to read everything they say to friends doesn't mean they're up to no good.”

Checking Cell Phones and Logs

Yes: It's a Parent's Job to Monitor

In a world of cyber bullying, sexting, and child predators, it's important for moms to monitor their tweens' and teens' cell phone usage, some Circle of Moms advise. “It is my job as a mother to know. It is my husband's job as a father to know,” says Melodie. “We have 2 boys, 10 and 12. If either one of us think something is going on that shouldn't be then we are going to snoop. I check my son's cell phone all the time. My kids are well aware of that and as long as they are going to live in my house and enjoy all the things our hard earned money provides them, then I can snoop whenever I feel like it.”

Angel M. says she monitors her teen’s mobile phone activity because, “How else are you to protect them from cyber bullying, sexting, and child predators?"

No: Kids Deserve Some Privacy and Respect

Many Circle of Moms members share an opinion voiced by Nicole M. who says: "Until your child gives you a reason to be suspicious, and by that I mean more valid than hanging out with a "lost soul" and not telling you all her secrets anymore, they deserve their privacy and respect.” She adds: “If they break that trust, (and for me it would take more than one little 'Hey Mom, I'm going over to A's house to study' when you know well and good they are going out to the movies with Boy B), then all bets are off. I just think, if you show them respect, they will grow and learn to respect you (and others) more too.”

GPS Tracking

Yes: It's So Reassuring

Some Circle of Moms are so intent on monitoring their kids that they've installed a computer chip in their teen's car or are using their teen's cell phone GPS to track its owner's whereabouts. "We have one on my son's car and love it,” says Shea J. “You can have alerts sent to your phone that let you know where he is, how fast he is going. To actually track his movement you have to go online and log in. It works great.”

Patty H. says she feels GPS tracking isn’t snooping. "My philosophy is you have to trust but verify," she explains. "This way I won't have to worry about him; I can look online and see exactly where he is."

No: Leave Tracking to the Police

Other Circle of Moms members feel that getting instant updates on the speed your teen is driving or where he is in the car is taking it too far and is disrespectful. It’s not a good way to help build their self-confidence and show them you trust them, say moms like Jodi. She believes that parents should at least start “by having a talk" and  giving your kids a chance to share where they are and what they are doing.

Bedrooms, Backpacks and Journals

Yes: It’s a Parent’s Duty to Snoop

Going through your child's personal belongings periodically is just part of what a responsible parent does, say some Circle of Moms members. “I agree that it's okay to go through your kids’ stuff,” says Lisa W. “If I find something inappropriate I find some roundabout way to bring it up to her and see if she'll open up about it. By no means do I say, oh, I was in your room snooping and found this or that. You have to protect your kids.”

Kim B., who checks her daughter's backpack, room, cell phone, e-mail and Facebook periodically, maintains that as  long as a child is living under her roof, she "basically has no freedom."

No: You Will Lose Your Child's Trust

Other Circle of Moms feel strongly that children should have a safe place for their private thoughts and feelings and that reading journals and rifling through rooms is an invasion of privacy. “I don't snoop,” says Tara K. "I have a 14-year-old son. If I were concerned about him or anything he was doing, I would talk to him. And if I felt he was being dishonest, I would let him know that I can find out the truth, be it through his friends, their parents, the computer, snooping in his room, etc. He knows I have the power to do all those things, but I have never had to. Snooping under any but the most extreme cases is wrong. My mom read my diary once; I didn't talk to her for a month. She had no reason, no right and I was appalled that she would be so disrespectful of my privacy. She felt awful and admitted to just being curious. Not okay in my book.”

Do you spy on your kids?

Image Source: kellyxrene via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Last weekend, Kat Von D wrote a public note on her Facebook page provocatively titled: "Thank you, Jesse James." Certain aspects of her personal note conveyed a message of healthy healing. With that said, there were more than a few stinging comments that seemed a little out of place for someone coming from a place of "love and light."

After a breakup you might have a genuine desire to move on, but any sort of public bashing, whether it's honest or not, is an open ticket for outsiders to misconstrue your words. Openly criticizing an ex on any form of social media is a bad idea; here are five things to remember before you bash and click.

1. It's not going to make you feel any better. For a hot second you may feel like you've accomplished something, but at the end of the day, bashing your ex on social media is going to do nothing but stir up hurt feelings from the past. Whether you're a public figure like Kat or not, a public bash is an open invitation for your Facebook friends and Twitter followers to give their opinion on your heartache. At the end of the day, the only person who can really make you feel better is you.
2. It's always better to take the high road. I get it. Your heart is hurt and you want to bring that pain back to your ex. The truth is the bashing or cruel words are not going to do anything but hurt you more. Fixating on your lost love will only make you feel more hurt. No matter how dirty your ex did you, no matter how much you feel he messed up your world, it's always better to keep your nasty thoughts to yourself and take the high road.
3. If you genuinely need to make peace with yourself, Facebook is not a place to do it. Facebook and Twitter are wonderful ways to connect with people we care about and share information in a whole new arena. But there's nothing worse than opening your stream and seeing people whining or complaining. It's just not the right forum for this kind of conversation. If you're really upset and not sure where to turn, call a close friend or family member. This is always the better option.

Keep reading for two more reasons to rethink bashing your ex on social media.