Flirting on Twitter

Tech Dating 101: He Only Direct Messages Me, What Gives?

Welcome to Tech Dating 101, our series that addresses the very complicated world of online and offline dating and how technology has changed the rules of the game.

I received a question from a reader who says she gets ample Direct Message love from a dude, but he never tweets at her. What, she wonders, is that all about? Check my answer after the jump.

Connecting with potential dates on Twitter can be confusing, but texting, IMs and online banter are all a critical element of dating a techie-friendly type. I chatted with a friend who had a similar situation and we concluded you should look into the following:

  1. Do you know his relationship status? If he has a girl, it appears he is intentionally hiding his interactions from her.
  2. If he is single, is he playing the field and hiding how he flirts online? Hint: Check his Facebook action, and see who he has tweeted at recently. Note: this is not considered stalking unless you make it a habit.
  3. Is he just shy or reserved about sharing personal information online in general? Hint: Does he pimp out his profile pages, or keep things vague? There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, in a world of constant updates, it can be refreshing. He may be an honest keeper who just wants to keep his private life private from the Internet.
  4. Does his awkwardness extend into real life? There's about a 10 percent chance he doesn't understand Twitter.

If he has a girlfriend — or a "it's complicated" situation — it sounds like he is interested in you (whether tweet-motionally or romantically) and trying to pursue you on the sly. If he doesn't have a girlfriend make sure he isn't playing the field too seriously, but he could just be a shy flirt. That being said, direct messages can be a sneaky, dirty business. Call him out by tweeting at him whenever he sends you DMs (assuming they are appropriate) and gauging his response. Best of luck!

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