Regan Books, publishers of such gems as porn star Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love like a Porn Star and Hillis Gillespie's Confessions of a Recovering Slut, has decided to publish a bizarre OJ Simpson book called If I Did It. In this heart-warming tale, sure to be a favorite Christmas stocking-stuffer, Simpson describes how he would have committed the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman, you know, if he actually had. Huh?!

Anyway, instead of making the obvious editorial comment on this, I decided instead to give Regan Books some ideas for future titles. Enjoy...