What do you do if you are a company like Sprint and your competitor is about the launch a product that has inspired shirtless camping efforts, tribute videos and lots and lots of talk? The devoted Mac heads over at Cult of Mac have put together a list of Sprint’s Top 5 Missing Talking Points About the iPhone following Sprint's response to the iPhone launch. The list, which was apparently compiled through "research technique we can only describe as 'a couple of beers with friends' and 'making stuff up,'" is nearly as entertaining as iPhone boy himself. Highlights include:

Phoning it in
Picture this: A curious but fairly clueless non-techy interested in the iPhone wanders into a Sprint store, and asks about the mystical device. The Sprint team springs into action! After all, Sprint’s strategy of trying to make any phone technically capable of playing music sound like the same thing as a multi-touch driven multiplayer like the iPhone.

Customer: Can I have an Apple Phone (sic), please?
Sprint Rep: Oh, so you’re interested in being able to place a call, eh? The iPhone is an impressive device, but do you really want to spend all that money? What you might not know is that Sprint offers lots of phones that are capable of making phone calls. Apple would have you believe that you need a $500 device to make a phone call. Nothing could be further from the truth!
Customer: I’m going home.
Sprint Rep: You just do that, little man.

For the full list, visit Cult of Mac.