On this week's How I Met Your Mother, Ted's legendary overzealousness with love blew up in his face in a text-messaging epic prank (but that's another post). However, what made him a victim was the fact that his friends knew he would violate the "three day rule" that says you must wait three days before calling or texting someone you just met (I guess the Swingers two-day rule is passé now, huh?).
So aside from Ted's uber-dorky use of the term "texty-text," what we really need to discuss is this rule. Not for calling, but specifically, texting.
Since texting is decidedly more casual than a phone call, what are the rules for contacting someone for the first time this way? How long should you wait? Or are such rules totally lame?
I can't tackle this in Tech Dating 101, because I'm an old coupled-up lady and am sooo out of the flirty-texting game.
So, what are the rules?
Ghibli
Roksanda Ilincic
Rocket Dog
Maybe a few days...no different than a phone call.
1since it's more passive, i would say that you can text sooner than you would call
2Texting is waaay more casual, it wouldn't be breaking the "rules" to text a quick hello or a thank you.
3I think texting right away is pretty cute. It's definitely not as personal as the third day phone call. That is, as long as you don't profess your love via text 10 minutes after meeting
4i hate it when i guy texts and doesn't call. i want a man with cajones, not one that's too afraid to make a phone call.
5you know i actually have no problem with texting the same day as long as it's 6-8 hours later, and calling should be a two day wait in my book.
6"because I'm an old coupled-up lady and am sooo out of the flirty-texting game."
Haha, love it!
7Having seen the episode, I wouldn't text when Ted was initially going to call, but later when he did text, it felt like the right time to do it. A text is more informal, and a nice way to keep in touch without getting "too serious" too soon.
I think I would be a lot creeped out if someone I'd given my phone number to called two minutes later - unless we had amazing chemistry.
8Actually had a guy text me 10 minutes after we met -- just a "hey, glad I met you thing". Was kinda cute.
I don't mind a same-day text. Phone calls should be at least a day or two to prevent the creepy factor.
9Same day is fine as long as it isn't needy.
10I don't mind texting as long as the guy doesn't use it as a way to get out of calling. It's cute if you're using it as a quick "hi" or something, but it's annoying and rude to try to make plans with someone you're interested in!
11No rules really. It's fine if it's just for idle chat and what not.
12Anyone have a guy start to "twitter" you via their texts? Guy I'm talking to now is doing that and it is so irritating! We're supposed to go out tomorrow and I'm already imagining how to dump him.
13Recently after a FIRST DATE with a new guy, he started texting me past midnight. THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW! Of course I ignored him because I think it's just *rude* to text someone new so late. I told him it bothered me and he did it again last night!!! He keeps sending things like "what's up" (at 2am!) and "Are you mad at me?" (at midnight)....I was already on the fence with this guy - but his weird texting habits helped make my decision to lose his number.
BAM! No second date for YOU, TEXT OFFENDER!
14Rules?
15That´s stupid.
This should explain it all very clearly (and tongue-in-cheek):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX3ws6OnGuE
16I think it's silly to subscribe to any set of "rules." Because yeah, every relationship is the same and should be handled in the same way.
17Texting for a first date? Wimpy wimpy wimpy. I need Hefty hefty hefty - phone calls.
18Really hate waiting for the reply text! I'm on pins and needles waiting and obsessed until I get it. But of course, I delay the reply, knowning that he may also be waiting. Is that a game?!
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