I have always found online dating to be incredibly superficial. I have rarely actually got to know someone online -by know someone, I mean know if I can trust them or not, know if I would like to spend several hours in their company, even just have a relatively clear idea about the facts of their life (age, profession, marital status).

And then, the whole first date thing - you've been flirting with this person for two weeks, and you finally meet in a bar, and you realise that physically there is nothing there... It's a very awkward situation.

My biggest peeve with online dating is finding some scam artist who would try to suck someone out of their cash. I wouldn't fall for it, but my mother has expressed interest in online dating and I have advised her against it for those reasons. I just don't trust those things.

I have definitely made friends online, met a few of them in person, and chatting on AIM has brought me closer to former acquaintances. I have never considered online dating, mostly since my current boyfriend and I met in person. Former boyfriends were pre-online dating popularity era and during my teenage years when online predators suddenly became a huge deal and everyone was telling me not to meet people I met online, ever.

I signed up just to comment to this post, even though Ive been coming here forever and never found a reason to post.

I cant believe some people are still so close minded about online dating. I met my best friend and soulmate this way, its not hard to tell genuine people from the people who are just there to be creepy.

Weve all heard from TV / our mothers that meeting people online is potentially dangerous....but isnt everything in life potentially dangerous? I think its ridiculous to just trust everything that Oprah says, this topic gets a rise out of people and thats just what the media wants.

Im sorry if I offend anyone, but this subject makes me furious.

i met my current boyfriend through online dating and honestly could not be happier.

WITH THAT SAID...

Being a longtime skeptic on the subject, I just have to say that every situation certainly is different, and just like any other dating, always be mindful of taking things slow, being safe and keeping communication open.

=)

On dearsugar this was a hot topic the other day!

I met my ex boyfriend on okcupid.com and through him met my current boyfriend.

I met my bf online and we've been dating for 4.5 years and are happy!!

There is nothing wrong finding someone online, especially since you can meet someone with your interests regardless of location. That being said I found a lot of nice guys, but no one I really fell in love with. I ended up falling for someone I had been friends with for years who I never thought I was into, so maybe I'm different.

i've never tried it, and obviously people have different stories to tell for both sides, but my experience (through friends) has been that guys as so hesitant to remove their profile because they want to keep meeting hot chicks over and over and aren't in it for the real thing

Like "live" dating, I think it depends on where you live. I know a few people who are happily married to people they met online, but they're in other cities. Where I live, people's experiences with online dating seems to be just as brutally superficial as trying to hook up in a singles bar.

i have met cool people online but my one online dating experience was just okay. and we meet through a social network, not online dating site. it's still best to connect with people who share similar interest. the online dating scene is as random as meeting people at the mall or the grocery store or the car wash. i'd rather meet someone in my running club, or orienteering group or something like that.

I've been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years as well, and I met my boyfriend on OKCupid. Without it, we never would have met.

I actually found online dating preferable. While I'm an extrovert with people I know, I have trouble approaching people and I've found much ruder surprises with people I've met in bars and on traditional singles scenes than I have through a computer.

I think that the people who have trouble using the dating services are making the exact same mistakes that they do in "live" situations, and are blaming computer processes and not their emotional processes and bugaboos for the resulting problems.

When you use an online service, you are given an opportunity to screen people that you don't get in real life. You can, on a good service, see who this person hangs out with, do what googling you can and look very closely at the answers. If you just look at the picture, you're missing the WHOLE picture. If anything rubs you slightly wrong - anything you might try to laugh off or think is a joke - you should not engage contact with that person. People reveal a lot more about themselves than they think they do in those profiles, and checking your responses against those comments should tell you what you need to know.

Does this mean it's a perfect system? No. But dating is ultimately a process of elimination anyway. Positive relationships happen to positive people, negative relationships happen to negative people. Even online, it's not just a take what you can get scenario.

I met my boyfriend online and couldn't be happier - he's the perfect person for me even though I may not given him a second glance had I bumped into him in real life.

i've surfed the internet for going on 10yrs I came into online dating a couple of months later.I must say i've ran into my share of douche's.I also think about whether I have ran into someone psychotic but had no idea and that scares me.

My husband of 5 1/2 yrs found me online and we have a 4yr and 1 on the way real soon.I am very thankful it worked out for me.Just so happen we were living 45 mins away from each other location wise.I had given up on meeting a man on or offline when he came along.

I don't care what anyone says its like meeting someone on the street.They can be truthful or lie to you whether it be online or off.

I met both my current boyfriend and my ex-fiance online....so I don't understand the hesitation. I've met friends online through forums, blogs and gaming as well. I met my ex-fiance on a dating site and he actually only lived a few miles away. He's still a good guy and a friend. I met my current boyfriend in a game that my ex-fiance got me into and he was just a friend for a long time. Then *poof*! One day on chatting on a messenger service....and I saw him in a whole new light.

I actually dig online dating/meeting people because you can get to know someone at first without the blindness of lust blurring your vision. I know a bunch of people who met their husbands, boyfriends, or just great friends online and I'm one of them.

I'm going to agree with tangiesugar, that it's similar to meeting people in real life; anyone can lie to you whether they are online or not.

I've had a bunch of friends get boyfriends from those sites, and while they're not married, the guys were decent. I've also heard of people getting married off Match and the other sites. As for the awkwardness of meeting offline. Aren't first dates always awkward? What about blind dates? Even worse! At least in this situation you've probably talked to them through email/phone for at least a couple weeks.

I met my fiance 3 years ago online. I didn't want to do it, but my mom set up a profile for me on Match.com I was having trouble meeting people once I got out of college, so this actually worked out well.

What I find ironic is that in my personal experience, those I know who don't spend much time online/believe 'The Sims' games and other computer activities an atrocious waste of life think that online dating is a great idea, possibly the only part of one's life worth moving onto the internet, while the true tech geeks all think it's a last ditch sadly desperate effort.

Hi Everyone,

This BookingIt person is actually the MaryAnna who wrote the book in question: (Why) I Hate to Date (Online). Your comments are great! Love 'em.

My issues with online dating sprout from concerns about what it's saying about today's cultural values. Online dating, now known as a one click community, completely demoralizes many poor souls who approach the thing desperately only to be cast aside again and again by players and beautiful-people-seekers.

Let's just take a moment and compare a few things: With online dating you have a photo and a blurb -- did you know that photographers are making big bucks taking pro shots and making people into something they're not? And that writers are amassing clients who need help writing their personal narrative? In real life, there is a flesh and blood person in front of you, a person you can touch, a person who must speak for herself/himself without the assistance of a professional speaker on their shoulder. Did you also know that online dating is creeping its way into the psychology labs with words like compulsion, obsession, and addiction? And of course there is the scamming aspect where posers mask as "Oh woe is me, I need money, I need money."

So, yes, many, many people have had "good" experiences with online dating, but the ultimate question remains to be answered, and that is, what will be the effect be on our society of a point for 75 seconds and click away culture.

^

Nothing is more superficial than that in my opinion. Taking such a generalized opinion on the matter is in one simple word: stereotyping.

Not only that, you're assuming that everyone who uses online dating has low self-esteem, are desperate, and won't use their own values to make relationship-based decisions. Its kind of ridiculous.

Hey there, before historians,

I think the operative word in my comment was "many," as opposed to your assumption of my comment as "everyone who uses online dating."

As well, I do believe you missed the main point, which was, what will the effect be on society and culture in the future.

Perhaps a closer read would be helpful.

I'm not going to argue with you....

If you feel like you need to write books on society-bashing garbage instead of something actually of concern, go for it. It's not like its my reputation I'm trying to protect.

beforehistorian -- I would be happy to send you a copy of the copy. Just send me your address and I'll get one right out to you (free).

Every dark night is followed by a bright sunny day. So, patience and attention is required and things will be fruitful in near future.

adult

There is nothing called a free lunch is this world. If things needed to be resolved then initiative needs a support to be sorted out.

adult